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R: 75 / I: 14
How did you discover Nordchan?
R: 0 / I: 0

Another SC thread

I did this: https://nordchan.net/all/res/4357.html

Im thinking maybe ill do another one now that i have free time. Have to decide will i put it in Ylilauta or here…
R: 7 / I: 2
>Feels no difference at all
R: 7 / I: 4
dead board
R: 3 / I: 1
is this board kill? :(
R: 13 / I: 3
State lockdown starts in 50 minutes. Fuck the police, im going on a /nightwalk/. How is nordchan handleing thier lockdowns?
R: 8 / I: 0
My butt will remain clean! Just bought 60 rolls of tp!
R: 13 / I: 4
>yanks and non-europeans shitting up the bord

should be ip ban for non nords tbh
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how you holding up in nord?
R: 4 / I: 3
post your best ismo
R: 42 / I: 3
my cat is drooling like a retard when I pet her
do you have pets?
R: 1 / I: 1
R: 68 / I: 2
Now that we have the embed, let's start a general music thread for discussion and suggestions.
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Hva synes dere om Ramaraff ?
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Eesti is prepared for coronavirus
R: 2 / I: 2
kolmio ukit
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terve, ystävät hyvät
R: 20 / I: 1
How come ur seen as a sick individual if you're attracted to someone under the age of 18? The age of consent is 15 here in Sweden as many other countries but still you're not allowed to be attracted to someone under 18 by the society
R: 23 / I: 5

noot's replacement

Hello everyone!

As you may have noticed, the site is not dead yet. I just got set up with my administrator account, and access to the server, and I'll be doing my best to keep Nordchan alive as noot focuses on his real life obligations.

I figured "newt" was a good of a name as any, since it's pronounced sort of like noot, but is also an animal. Here's some newt facts to make this thread interesting:

- Newts have the ability to regenerate limbs, eyes, spinal cords, hearts, intestines, and upper and lower jaws!
- Newts are not known for their good ability to run imageboards!
- Many newts produce toxins in their skin secretions as a defense mechanism against predators.
- The Great Crested Newt, Britain’s largest amphibian, can grow twice as big as other newts – up to 18cm long and live for up to 15 years.

If you have any questions about anything, ask away.
R: 1 / I: 1
>kolmio ukot:D
R: 7 / I: 1
>mfw being comfy at the barracks in the middle of nowhere while outside world is going upside down due to corona
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R: 20 / I: 1

newfags cant triforce

▲ ▲
R: 1 / I: 1
Moi. All Finno-Ugrics welcome.
R: 14 / I: 1

The cost of doing business

Server renewal is coming up. Me and noot have covered this upcoming month, the price of upkeep per month is roughly 15.07 USD (for a VPS with an appropiate size).

This price is set to go up a little when we switch to a more privacy-oriented provider, however that's what we're looking at right now.

If you want to help us stay afloat.

BTC: 16zBurj3C8dycjtMEXjHjK1oy2cc1u47bW
ETH: 0x96ac96DF7984Abb5c65384aC5dB50d91f39d01B0

(If you want to contribute, but can't do so via crypto currency, let me know!)

Have an excellent evening!
R: 41 / I: 19

Precious Nordchans

Just dumping my collection of Nordchans. All of these are drawn by board users (many of them the same anon).
R: 4 / I: 0
I am legendary shit-poster. I have travel around seven boards. Everybody looking for something. Annie are you okay, are you okay, Annie? Come Barbie let’s go party. Did i get your attention? I’m not crazy, I’m motherfucking genious like Kanye West. This is how you motherfuckin make legendary thread.
R: 8 / I: 3
This board is so silent we need a prime roll thread. Let's see them.
R: 132 / I: 53

king fat thor

fat thor thread
R: 52 / I: 10

why does coronavirus have to exist

it feels like it's going to infect everyone :( 16 people are already tested positive for it in sweden and most of them had been on vacation in Italy
R: 8 / I: 0
I wiped my phone dowb with a wet wipe anvd bmow there ius water unbder my screeb protector and it is fuckiung inp my typing, hbow do i resolbe thius problem?
R: 10 / I: 2
What is the most based word in your language? In finnish it might be
meaning "invader matress", meaning a woman who sleeps with refugees or gets raped by them and is a leftist.
R: 11 / I: 2
on all levels except physical i am finnish
R: 5 / I: 1
Would /all/ kill for a dumpster?
R: 43 / I: 8
what kind of music do you bros listen to?
R: 7 / I: 0
Ex wife sex doll project is temporarily on hiatus. I met this cute ~20 year old girl yesterday and fell in love. I opened her the door to a market and she gave me this look. I think it lasted only 600-700 milliseconds but felt like she gave me a virtual blowjob. She left the store with a blue VW Passat and I picked up her license plates, apparently the car is registered to her father who lives nearby. I have the plate on my search agent on this car sales site Nettiauto.com, if it comes for sale I'll buy it and steam wash the seat and distill the water to make a perfume of her :3 (the car had cloth seats)
R: 1 / I: 0
due duif tred
pls post dues
R: 29 / I: 16
i bought some beer, bacon and pizza. Nice you see ur chan is still running.
R: 2 / I: 0
R: 5 / I: 1
i bought some beer and chicken
R: 1 / I: 0
R: 12 / I: 3
Niilo22 thread
R: 6 / I: 3
I'm this cat
R: 1 / I: 0
Nordchan is back babyyyyyyyyy
R: 1 / I: 1
Kalle anka thread: fill the blanks edition
R: 1 / I: 0
R: 1 / I: 0
mitä vittua nyt taas?
R: 1 / I: 0
Nordchan is back
R: 3 / I: 1
thor is glad his home did not get shut down (can also double as an anniversary thor)
R: 0 / I: 0
Who is the new Nooty Mc. Nootface?
R: 4 / I: 4
post your favorite me me
R: 2 / I: 1
hello again
R: 13 / I: 1

Nordchan on Discord

We have a Discord to chat with your fellow anons from the board!


I'll leave this as a sticky for a few days.
R: 40 / I: 31

/webm-mp4/ general

Webm/mp4 support added! Dump your webms here.
R: 5 / I: 1
But why DDoS us frens :(
R: 0 / I: 0
>tap-water Hitler :D
R: 7 / I: 1
How to get svenska gf?
R: 2 / I: 0
anglo, german, nordic, kike
the cumskin tribes lived in harmony until the german nation attacked
only the american, member of all 4 tribes, and can stop the ruthless germans
but when the world needs them the least they get even more mutted
a few minutes passed until me and my waifu met a /pol/tard, and althrough his shilling skills are horrible I still think he can genocide the whitoid race
R: 4 / I: 2
R: 6 / I: 2
Today is Eesti's birthday. Say something nice about her.
R: 3 / I: 0
are all finns like this
R: 2 / I: 1
>"workers party"
>preaches equality
>banned porn
>almost self genocided germans
>killed a shitton of whites
>destroyed a shiton of cities
>all while keeping jews safe in camps

Yep, I can see why /pol/ and other subhumans love it
R: 1 / I: 0
Where is binland hating svennejävel? Sucking benis? :DD
R: 7 / I: 3

Today is saturday february, 22, 2020

The sun is out and it is going to be 45 degrees american, i think ill go to the beach and watch the waves.
R: 6 / I: 0
anon, are you suvakki?
R: 19 / I: 6
This is Lympri, finnish elite commando. Say something nice about him because you might be on his sights.
R: 1 / I: 1

gm skandi dandis

hi just discovered this place and wanted to say hi
R: 2 / I: 0
alright now this site has actually dogit
R: 29 / I: 7
Everybody must answer to this thread. If you don’t answer this thread you are gay.
R: 7 / I: 3
I don't believe what the science people say about induced drag. If air is a fluid then why does it matter whether you are going up or down or staying level? You will be opposing the same force. And how does low pressure behind the aircraft slow it down? Or how does creating a vortex behind it slow it down? This is all made up.
R: 26 / I: 8
easiest way for suicide?
asking for a friend
R: 89 / I: 137

SC: WaW Japan

WW2 has started!

Game is Strategic Command: world at war and i will be playing Japan, with AI controlling Germany and Italy against allies and comintern also controlled by AI.

Difficulty is medium, with no bonuses to me nor for compuuta.

I will not apologize for the language i will be using, just focus on the screenshots, which i will be providing as i go.

ww2start: this is the first picture you get when starting.

WaW: map of the playarea, whole world as is the name of the game.

Jap1: This is my situation, allready war with China, going to push 2 main ways and 2 sideways forward.

SC:WaW is good, you can buy it from steam. Also SC:war in europe.
R: 9 / I: 9
Official Nordchan Duck Appreciation Thread
R: 6 / I: 0
Sit back, and enjoy the invasion.
R: 16 / I: 1
my shop had freshly baked ryebread buns for only 4 kr a piece
R: 6 / I: 2
first ever nordchan allþing
all cityfag-ips should be permanently banned
R: 9 / I: 2
does this happen irl real life?
R: 11 / I: 2
I fucking hate valentine's day. All stupid normies are happy about being able to buy high prized cheap products for their love interests and friends.

I do not hate it because I don't have any friends, but because it is such a big commercial thing and big stores make a lot of money by basically commercializing romantic love and stupid people fall for it.
R: 3 / I: 0
>used to buy ettan for 28 kr
>now it costs 56
R: 39 / I: 8
Why is the traffic so slow suddenly? Where are all my nordbros?
R: 16 / I: 4

Slow times

The boards has become a little more slow over the past few weeks.

Nordchan isn't going anywhere. I'll keep maintaining it, and paying the bills. But I'd love to hear any suggestions on what could be done to make more Scandinavians aware we exist.

As per user suggestions: Here's some chans that could perhaps could be useful to advertise on
R: 2 / I: 0
I just recovered from my sickness. I am also staying home today because last evening I still had 38°C fever do it's going to be a comfy af day.
R: 2 / I: 0
come home astro!!
new ownership no stinky old bo
R: 5 / I: 0
please notice me norway
R: 1 / I: 0
Lönnrot was Binnish :DD
R: 11 / I: 1
Ex wife sex doll anon here. Alcoholic ex gf asked me for valentines fuck. I would like to go to ex wife instead but she has blocked my calls. What to do? I made a fake profile on Facebook to contact exwaifu but she hasn't seen the message for 2 hours.
R: 29 / I: 5

big movie thread

big movie thread

discuss movies
give movie advice to others
review movies
what are some good movies that you watched recently?

this is the big movie thread
R: 5 / I: 2

a call to all (true) nords

post pic of yourself wiping your ass with the f*nngolian flag and ill Swish©®™ you 10 :- (SEK)
R: 4 / I: 2
dead board lol
R: 26 / I: 8

sad story

Sad story, READ OUT!
In The Evening When Girl And Boy Sitting In Park.

The girl says: Do you think I'm cute?
The boy says, No.
The girl says: Would you kill yourself to save me?
The boy says, No.
The girl says: Would you be sad if I died?
The boy says, No.

The girl had heard enough and started running home.
The boy took the girl by the hand and said: I don't think you are cute, you are the most beautiful in the world.
I wouldn't kill myself, I would ask you to do it. I wouldn't be sad if you died because I'd die myself.
R: 25 / I: 1

Finnish Moderator

Hello everyone. I'm sitting here working on the updated imageboard. Really excited to get this out for us. When it launches I'd like to make a strategy for making more nordics aware of the site. I'm working on that and hope we'll grow. It's oddly comforting to talk to people who live close to you. Makes things more relatabe.

What I really wanted to ask was, if any Finnish posters in here would be interested in taking up a position as moderator for the board. I specifically need someone who can speak finnish, because I find that we get a lot of people from Yliluata in waves, and I can't moderate Finnish content

The job won't be hard, and won't require you to browse Nordchan obsessively. Just check up on the most recent posts once a day, and correct stuff that shouldn't be here (flooding/illegal content). If you're interested in this, please send me an e-mail at takethatofftheinternet (at) gmail (dott) com

Please include your Discord ID if you have one.

Thanks all. 1 day to Friday!
R: 0 / I: 0
26 years old loser here, just lost my virginities over the course of this week;
I don't get it why /r9k/ says it's hard. All I had to do was harvest polen from a flower and turn it into honey myself
R: 6 / I: 0
>from the moment swedes first set foot on eastern soil, carried across the waves of the baltic sea, on finly crafted vessles of brilliant engineering, and thusly became aquainted with those primitive tribes today colloquialy called 'finns', it became apparent to him, that he had stumbled upon a lower form of life.
>(…) the finns have no written language, no alphabet and no oral tradition to speak of, and his technological skills are limited at best! Whilst he can skillfully make wooden weapons and tools, such as bows and spears, he has not yet mastered the art of alchemy or of metalworking, much like the savages of the southlands.
>(…) a strange tradition in finnic society is a rite every male child must go through on the day of his 17th birthday; namely to sacrifice a lock of hair and semen unto a pagan, heretical deity called "the turnip god", or 'Äkräs', in their tounge.

From Historia de Gentibus Septentrionalibus.
R: 4 / I: 2
Three months… prepare to be beaten again. Can't wait to see how well Finland performs this year.
R: 0 / I: 0

Two and a half hours of these men arguing, every now and again the knight leaves the store and comes back; each time stronger, older, and more decorated of a soldier. The potion seller himself grew older as well, taking on a young apprentice that would ask why they did not just give the knight a potion every time. The potion seller would shush him, in all his great magic he knew something no one else did.

In the final scene they are both old men, the potion seller now an fantastical wizard and the knight the king of the country. The king begs for the strongest potions still, looking to keep strength to rule his kingdom longer and to give his people all he could. The knight broke down once more, begging the wizard, his voice choking in desperation.

The wizard smiled slyly, his wrinkled round face looking like a mask finally coming off. And in that true smile the kings heart flutters, excited as he thinks he will finally get what he desires.

"You never needed any of my potions, Traveler, the moment you walked in I could foresee your success." As the wizard speaks the camera leaves the shop, showing a beautiful, healthy kingdom. The light fades out, the credits begin.
R: 6 / I: 5
>order whitoids to give me money
>he only has a few potions

I suffer being brazillian
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R: 7 / I: 3
kalmar unionen
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Goddamnit! This Nordchan started whining that my posts look AUTOMATED when i try to post watstories on that Strategic command thread, unable to conitnue!!!
R: 8 / I: 0
I am hungry I want the food that I ordered specifically to 19:00 right now